By Rabbi Joseph S. Ozarowski, Rabbinic Counselor and Chaplain, JCFS Chicago

I have been part of a work group that is planning a conference called “The Journey of Infertility.” Some think this conference “path-breaking” or “revolutionary,” but this issue is not new. The challenges of infertility go back to the Torah itself.

In Judaism children are seen as a blessing, as a means of continuing our faith and people. When this proves difficult, the burden can be heavy. 

Hebrew Scripture is filled with examples of infertility, as well as varying reactions to it. Three of the four Matriarchs—Sarah, Rebecca and Rachel—had difficulty bearing children. They responded with prayer, the use of family handmaids as early versions of surrogacy and more. One of the most dramatic, poignant cases of infertility is that of Hannah in I Samuel 1. It seems that she spends years trying to conceive a child. The text teaches that she weeps and would not eat, appearing depressed, “of embittered soul.” She goes to the Sanctuary at Shiloh (the National Hebrew Shrine at the time) and pours out her heart to God. The text reports that she spoke from the heart: “Her lips moved but her voice was not heard.” 

Eli the High Priest sees this sight and assumes she is drunk. He confronts her and criticizes her. She answers, “I am a woman of difficult spirit, I have not drunk wines and I have poured out my heart before God. Do not deem me as wicked, for I have come out of much grievance and anger.” When Eli realizes his error in judgment, he bids her peace and wishes that God grant her request. God does and she subsequently gives birth to Samuel, who is destined to become a major prophet in Israel.

The many approaches to infertility in the Jewish Scripture suggest that there are many responses. In our day, there are numerous “solutions” to infertility. These could include IVF adoption, surrogacy and more, all of which have implications in Jewish Law beyond this blog. But I would like to suggest we focus on the “listening” aspect of the infertility journey, as encapsulated by the Hannah story. Simply, the High Priest is not listening! How well do we listen to the anguish of couples struggling to build their own families, who desire to fulfill the Biblical mandate of “Be fruitful and multiple,” who simply want a child to love, cherish and raise? 

It is no accident that Hannah’s mode of prayer (“her lips moved but her voice was not heard”) was seen by our Sages as the classic mode of heartfelt prayer to God and became the model of Jewish prayer in and out of the synagogue. Our Sages understood that Hannah’s struggle is representative of every person’s struggle in life and worthy of bringing right to God’s doorstep. From the Biblical narrative, God is clearly listening! 

Perhaps we as a community need to look at our own responses to those who wrestle with infertility. We can go on and on about solutions—but the Biblical narrative teaches us that most of all, we need to listen. We need to let those who struggle to have children tell their own stories—hearing their sense of loss in their own words, reflecting their own experiences. Our ability as a community to offer support by listening will go a long way in supporting those on the journey of infertility.

Illustration:  “Hannah giving her son Samuel to the priest” by Jan Victors, 1645. According to the Torah, Hannah sang a song when she presented Samuel to Eli, who raised him.