As the old adage goes, the only constant in life is change.   Whether it’s trying something new, going to a new school, or adapting to life changes, change can be both feared and welcomed, anxiety producing and exhilarating.  As summer ends and the seasons change from summer to fall, JCFS Chicago clinicians share insights on change at different stages of life.

Whether it’s preparing for pre-school, a visit to grandma’s or learning a new skill, “one of best things to do is priming,” says Marlies Gramann, SPLC and Director of JCFS Chicago’s Integrated Pediatric Therapies.  Priming, says Gramann, is as simple as finding books or even making your own book that prepares your child for the new experience.   Carol Gray, founder of the Gray Center which cultivates the strengths of individuals with autism and those who interact with them, has created a whole series of “Social Stories,” books that can help a child to prepare for anything from potty training to good social interactions in the school cafeteria, by creating a photo book that might portray every step of a new experience.

“From my experience kids can often have a positive initial experience of change, but then may react down the line when a change becomes more permanent,” says Gramann.  “Preparing in advance but also checking in after the ‘honeymoon phase’ ends is important, for kids of all abilities and needs."

Back to school is another change this time of year, and for some kids that means going to a new school or for tweens and teens transitioning from elementary to middle school or middle school to high school.  “The reaction can be a mixture of both anxiety about the unknown of a new and different environment, but also excitement for new opportunities and a chance to make new friends,” says Robin Stein, LCSW and Director of Response for Teens.  “You can help minimize the scary and maximize the positive in some ways by talking about it, and also affirming for kids that it’s natural to have mixed feelings about new things.”

Parents can also help by making it familiar in advance, by visiting the school before the first day, or taking advantage of things offered by the school such as orientation night.  “And while it may not feel like it in the moment, sometimes anxiety is good because it  builds resilience, and that is something  kids need throughout their lives,” adds Stein.

For adults, it can make a difference if the change is welcome or unwelcome, expected or unexpected.  “If a change anticipated, like a planned move to a new home or city, think of things you can do to prepare,” says Ruth Fruehauf, LCSW and Director of Community Counseling Centers at JCFS Chicago.  But an unexpected change, such as getting laid off from a job, can be challenging.  “With loss there’s always change,” says Fruehauf, “and feelings of sadness or feeling victimized are natural and should be honored.  But change can also be empowering."

The important thing is to reach out and get whatever help is needed to process a change, whether it’s drawing on one’s own personal network, connecting to a support group of others going through similar changes, or connecting to professional help.  And for that, JCFS Chicago is just a call away, at 855.ASK.JCFS (855.275.5237), or jcfs.org.

Photo Credit:  Architects 2Zebras