What are Pronouns and Why They Matter

Pronouns are words used to talk about someone instead of using that person’s name. These might be he/him, she/her, gender-neutral pronouns such as they/them or ze/zir, or someone might use multiple pronouns interchangeably such as they/she, he/they, or others.  

There is an identity dimension to the pronoun. If you identify as a man or woman (gender identity), then you would likely want others to refer to you as “he” or “she”, respectively.  While assumptions are often made to determine an individual's gender, outward appearance does not dictate your gender identity. You may have a style of dress or appearance that is perceived as feminine, but identify as a man, even if it is not immediately evident. It’s okay to let other people know that you would expect to be referred to as “him”. 

If you are not sure what pronouns another person uses, making an effort to learn their correct pronouns will make them feel respected and affirm their gender identity. A great way to start this dialogue is by sharing your own pronoun first. You can help the person you are speaking to feel more comfortable by being open about your own pronouns.