^{By Bracha Jakofsky, Mental Health Educator, JCFS Chicago}

Sadness, stress and anxiety are natural parts of the broad spectrum of human emotions. However, when someone you care about is struggling with these feelings, it’s natural to be concerned and want to help. Knowing how to show up in a way that truly supports them, without overstepping or causing harm, can be challenging. The good news is, with a little thought and care, you can make a significant difference in their well-being.

Understanding how to offer your support in a way that’s respectful and effective is essential. Whether you’re helping a friend, family member or coworker, your involvement can help them feel seen, heard and less alone. Sometimes, though, it can also be important to know when to step back and bring in a professional or emergency services. A thoughtful and timely approach can improve their day-to-day functioning and even help prevent a crisis from escalating. Here’s what you need to know to support those who are struggling with their mental health.

1. Be Ready to Show Up, But Only When They’re Ready

There’s no strict rule for when to reach out to someone who's struggling, but timing and sensitivity are key. Before jumping in, ask yourself if you're emotionally ready to be there for the person, and make sure they’re open to the conversation.

It might be as simple as starting with a gentle check-in, like sending a kind text or offering to bring over a meal. If they seem hesitant, that’s okay. Let them know you’re there for them, but don’t force the conversation. Sometimes just knowing you’re available can mean a lot. Keep the lines of communication open, and give them the space to reach out when they’re ready. Your patience and consistency will show them that you care, even if they’re not ready to engage right away.

2. Approach the Conversation with Authenticity and Empathy

Once they’re ready to talk, it's crucial to approach the conversation with humility and a genuine desire to understand. Rather than offering quick solutions or advice, focus on listening. Show empathy by sitting with them in their pain without judgment, and resist the urge to fix everything. Mental health struggles are complex, and sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is simply to be there.

Avoid approaching them out of sympathy, which can feel distant or condescending. Instead, aim for an authentic connection—one that creates a space for open, honest conversation. Let them express their feelings without trying to downplay or “cheer them up.”

3. Consider What Kind of Support They Need

Everyone’s mental health journey is unique, so it’s important to listen carefully and understand what kind of support they’re seeking. There are generally three types of support to offer:

• Hugged: Sometimes a comforting embrace can speak volumes. If appropriate, the offer of a hug or a gentle touch may be appreciated. Physical touch releases oxytocin, which helps reduce stress and fosters a sense of connection.
• Heard: Often, people just need someone who will listen. Let them vent, validate their feelings, and remind them they’re not alone in their struggle.
• Helped: Depending on the situation, they may appreciate practical support, such as helping with specific tasks or offering advice. However, remember there’s no “quick fix.” You can assist with tasks, but don’t promise to solve their deeper emotional challenges.

When you listen, it’s important to be mindful of their preferences. Some people may need space, while others may crave more connection. Be attuned to their cues and try to respect their needs.

4. What to Do If They Don’t Want to Engage

It’s natural for someone who’s struggling to push others away, especially if they feel overwhelmed or ashamed. But even if they say they don’t want help, it’s still important to keep the lines of communication open. Remind them that you’re there when they’re ready to talk.

However, if someone expresses intentions of harming themselves or others, you must act immediately, even if they don’t want your help. Mental health crises require urgent attention, and stepping in could save their life. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional, or call 988, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or local emergency services if you believe there is an immediate danger.

5. It’s Not About Having the Perfect Response

Supporting someone through mental health struggles isn’t about saying the right thing or offering a perfect solution. It’s about showing up with authenticity, empathy and patience, even when it’s difficult. Sometimes the smallest gestures—a kind text, a hug or simply being there—can have a profound impact.

While the process may not always be easy, your compassion and care can provide comfort, strength and connection as they navigate their journey.

For more information or to schedule a mental health training, contact Bracha Jakofsky.